She woke up yesterday, to the letters and all school requirements. It was brought up when we were all fast asleep in the midst of strong wind and heavy rain. Just for this little potterhead on her birthday.
Of course, she got her very own Hagrid-Inspired Birthday Cake - endearing misspelled, half sat on cake, cracks and all. This cake has her own stamp on it. She worked her own magic as she chose and requested for the simplest and forgiving cake ever. Mommy wanted to make the cake for her, but she decided that she wanted to do it herself. So, in a true Hermione style, she refered to the references from HP Philosopher of Stone Image and created this cake. She decided to make it hers by adding the simple flowers rim around the bottom of the cake.
This 11 years old girl told me few days before her birthday that she doesn't want any fuss for her birthday. She told me (not verbatim) that she understands that we are living in a difficult time so let's just make it simple. My mommy heart was indeed touched.
Growing up Tania was not subjected to big and elaborate birthday party. We, as parent, do not want to make it a habit or a norm for her. We are more than capable financialy to hold big party for her. But instead, we decided to teach her to see what matters most in life. So birthday is always a family occasion.
Instead of inviting many people to your party - we have family and friends sharing the whole day with her. Spending time playing game, just hang out, going on a picnic by the river stream in the forest etc. We exhanged other people attention to family and friends bonding.
Instead of receiving many presents and gifts - we teach her to give instead of receiving or to be thankful and appreciate what she has in her life. In the past, she had made goodie bags and small presents and gave it to her friends, she accepted book donations instead of present for her beloved PAUD in Waai and to be sent to kids in remote areas in Maluku, she collected toys to support local storytelling innitiatives. --- sometimes aunts and uncles gave her money for her birthday, that ALWAYS went straight to her piggybank which later will be deposit to her bank account.
Instead of elaborate and expensive cake ordered from bakery, we baked and decorate the cake ourselves. In the start, mommy made the cake. It is sort of a personal challenge for me to create different and custom made cake. But then these past few years, Tania wanted to join in. So the cake making process is part of her birthday celebration experience. She enjoyed it. Repeatedly saying how she miss and love baking time. So, you see.... we are making memories with the cake we created.
This year, she opted for this simple cake. One, it's because Harry Potter received this cake on his 11th Birthday. But Two, it's because she is so understanding of how overwhelemed and busy her mother is with all her resposibilities. So she opted for this simple and forgiving cake. --- through out the process, the cake was wonky, the filling crashed down and spilled on the floor, the frosting was uneven, The buttercream frosting was too soft etc... everytime they happened, we laughed it out loud and exclaimed... "Well... Hagrid made this cake..." implying that hagrid will clumsily made this and it will not be perfect either. Mind you, he even sat on it.
Well, what about Tania? Didn't she ever wanted a big party?
We have had birthday parties for her. Perhaps twice in her 11 years life. This is the party when we invite people and friends. Even so, it was just at home and not in a venue. Other than that, it is always family affairs, homecooked meal and a day spent together.
We talked about this with her because she got invited to big party too. We explained why her mom and dad do not make big party. We let her know that we are more than capable financially to do this. And we let her know that we are willing to held big party for her when she decided she wanted one. Details of her events are always discussed with her. About 8 years old on ward, I think she got it. When we go to elaborate birthday party, she would always enjoy every minutes of it. But later at night on our nightly chat, she would tell me how nice the party was but how sad that it is only for a few minutes or glitzy time, then they must pack up and go. Meanwhile for her party, she got the whole day for herself.
Are we cruel parents? Hmmm.... Perhaps to some. But the world she will grow up in will keep feeding her with images and trends of what this must be. We are trying to teach her to have principles, to see what matters most in life. Sometimes, what's importantg in life got shrouded with all the keeping up we need to do to portray what success and happines means. We are trying to see her outside the box that the world portray. To be strong and to be perfectly OK not to follow what other people do.
Indeed it's true - "We do not need magic to change the world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already. We have the power to imagine better" - J.K Rowling.
So happy birthday once again lovely girl. May your heart remain pure and always directed to God. May your hands work on the God's work. May your feet always walk in the path of the truth. May your words be gentle, uplifting and bring comfort to weary hearts. May you grow to be loced by God and people around you.
Stay humble. Believe in yourself. Stay the chatty self-proclaimed bookworm you are.
